[ Oh, no. Whatever it is that's gotten under Tighnari's skin, Kaveh realizes, it's bad. He's never seen her quite like this, holding herself together but only just, crumbling under the pressure of something he can't see. It's a look he's seen on his own face in the mirror so many times before— but never Tighnari. She's always been the strong one, at least in his mind, the one who faces the world on her own terms and doesn't let anyone cut her down—
Perhaps, he realizes with a dull pang, it's as much of a mask as the one he himself wears. And he hates more than anything that he's never seen it before. ]
Of course. [ His hands lift, fingers smoothing along the lower lashes of those forest-colored eyes to brush away the tears before they can fall, hating too with all his heart the fear shining behind the irises as the other looks up at him. And what he wants to tell her is that there's nothing she could ever say to make him turn from her— but he knows that for him, that wouldn't be enough, that what she needs is the proof.
So he makes no such promises; instead, he nods, one hand lowering to take one of her fisted ones into its hold, his eyes soft as they meet hers. ]
I'm listening. [ It's a whisper, something said with the softest of smiles to try and encourage the words forth. He'll be here no matter what, no matter how awful or terrible a thing needs to be told. ]
[ kaveh's eyes are full of warmth, full of gentle acceptance even before tighnari voices the truth of his heart. will it really be so easy? will kaveh truly not think he's some sort of.. freak? that he's broken? tighnari's throat works as he swallows thickly, and takes another deep breath. ]
You asked what I need you to do, and I..
[ tighnari's eyes are watery and stinging, and he has to summon all of his courage to lift them to kaveh's face, to look at him clearly. ]
I want you to.. to cut my hair for me. Short. And -
[ another breath, his heart pounding hard against his ribs. why is it so hard to say the words? forcing them out feels excruciating, so much of his life depends on this, right here, how this conversation goes. everything is riding on kaveh's reaction. tighnari is placing his bleeding heart into kaveh's hands, with perfect trust. ]
And to help me.. h-help me bind - my.. my chest -
[ tighnari's voice begins to crack at last, his vision blurring, and he breathes a low, frustrated sound like a strangled sob. ]
To help me not be - not be this anymore -
[ the tears fall, hot and plentiful, rolling unbidden down his cheeks. ]
[ And then, then it's not awful or terrible at all. Instead, Tighnari asks him to— to cut her hair, and bind her—
Oh.
Oh, this is big. Tighnari—
This is huge, isn't it?
But Tighnari, she— he, Kaveh reminds himself sternly, and promises in the very same thought to never need a reminder again— he needs it not to be this big thing. Right? What he needs right now is normality. In a world where this kind of admission is going to cause people to look at him differently to how they did before, to treat it as a curious or strange fact when it's frankly none of their business, Tighnari needs someone on his side who sees him for who he is, who sees it as a given, who brings normality to a world that is very much not.
(Or so Kaveh thinks, anyway. He's never really dealt with anything like this before.)
He takes a quiet breath, offers a gentle, understanding smile. ]
Okay, [ he says. For a moment he thinks about stopping everything and hugging the breath out of the other, but somehow he thinks it might be better to start with taking care of the things that are making his friend feel so out of sorts. Surely, he thinks, a hug will feel nicer for Tighnari if he can feel the flat of his chest pressed against Kaveh's, if the blonde's fingers can caress comfortingly through boyishly short strands of hair. And so instead of pulling him into a hug, Kaveh moves to grab the scissors, the roll of bandages from where they're lying on the bed. ]
Take your shirt off, okay? And— [ Kaveh pauses, considering the mirror for a moment or two.
If it were him, he doesn't think he'd be able to pull his eyes away even if he wanted to. And so, wordlessly, he pulls off the lightweight red overcoat he's wearing— leaving him clad in a loose white shirt and grey slacks— and drapes it over the mirror, adjusting it so that Tighnari can't look at himself even if he wants to. ]
Okay, that's better. Shirt off, Tighnari, and keep your eyes on me, okay. No looking down at yourself until I'm done.
relief floods tighnari's body from crown to toes, and his rapid breathing shudders, both hands lifting to his face. he needs a moment, a moment to come to terms with kaveh's kindness and willingness to help, with the fact that his world is not going to come crashing down around his ears, as he had half-expected it would. kaveh simply accepts what he is told, and tighnari feels a little guilty for having doubted him at all, when kaveh has been nothing but supportive and sweet from the moment they met.
soon he nods. ]
Okay. Okay..
[ the mirror is covered, which is for the best, he thinks, considering how often his gaze continues to flicker back toward it. his ears are still pinned back, his tail between his legs, but the hard set of his shoulders is beginning to relax as he scrubs the tears from his face, and sniffs.
and then he sets to work, snagging the hem of his undershirt and tugging it over his head. he wears nothing beneath it but his own skin, yet there's nothing to be anxious about, he thinks. he'd bared his entire heart to kaveh, this is nothing, in the face of what he has already exposed. kaveh makes him feel safe, tighnari fields no issue with him seeing his bare breasts. the shirt is discarded to the floor, and tighnari lifts his long, silky hair in one hand, then holds both arms up. ]
[ The funny thing is that not once since Tighnari mentioned wanting his chest bound has Kaveh stopped and thought about the fact that the other has to get partially nude in order for him to do so. This isn't about that, after all. He's a man who can appreciate a nice pair of breasts, of course, but right now that's not what they are in his mind— they're something that makes Tighnari uncomfortable in his own skin, and nothing about that should be attractive to anyone. And so when that skin is bared to him, he doesn't fluster or flinch or hesitate; he just unrolls a decent length of the bandage, fingers laying its end against the outer side of one breast. ]
Hold this here for me until I wrap it around a couple times, just so it doesn't unwind.
[ Then, hesitant, not wanting to hurt his friend, Kaveh starts to wind the bandages around his chest.
The first attempt is abandoned just three circles into it as he realizes that, in trying to avoid pulling too tight, he's done nothing to bind the other's breasts back at all, and rather has essentially just decorated them with bandages. He huffs out a small sigh, murmurs an apology and unwinds the work, eyes finding Tighnari's face as he re-anchors the end against his breast, waits for the other to take it. ]
I don't want to hurt you, but I need to pull this tight for it to work. So you're gonna have to tell me if it's too much, okay? You still need to be able to breathe.
[ kaveh's reactions and responses are perfect, exactly what tighnari needs to see and hear. the moment of awkwardness after tighnari sheds his shirt is very brief, evaporating the moment kaveh begins to unroll the bandages without hesitation. there's nothing strange about this. there doesn't need to be anything strange about it. it's only the two of them, and the bond of trust between them, solidified by kaveh's kindness and acceptance.
tighnari nods, and does as bid, holding the bandage in place while kaveh makes his first attempt. it feels too loose, but tighnari keeps his eyes up as he had promised he would, his gaze fixed on kaveh's face.
but soon enough kaveh is unraveling the bandages again, trying again. ]
I'll be all right.
[ he says, his voice still a little tremulous, still a little thick with tears, but stronger than before. he holds the bandage against his breast again, and exhales a slow breath. ]
[ He nods in response, moving around Tighnari to make sure he's in the other's eyeline as he smiles, aiming for something confident and comforting, before he starts working his way around the shorter man again, winding tighter this time, pulling the bandages taut as he goes. He doesn't stop this time, won't stop unless Tighnari tells him it's too much, and where he feels the temptation to worry about hurting, he focuses instead on the way that, with each wind, he can see the swell of Tighnari's breasts flatten.
At some point during the second wrap, it's too tight, and he has to stop and backtrack a little, allowing Tighnari more freedom to breathe before he continues on. It's during the third attempt that he finds himself feeling more courageous, confident enough in the motions to complete the wrap without pause. And when he's done, he finds himself standing in silence for a moment to consider the work.
Not bad, he thinks, but if Tighnari puts that undershirt he was wearing back on, it will practically undo the effort all on its own. ]
We're gonna need to go shopping— [ he says, an absent-minded murmur as he reaches to his own shirt, pulling it up and over his head and handing it to the other. ] —But until then, put this on.
[ kaveh's warm, gentle smile is a great comfort, and though tighnari's eyes still sting with trembling tears, he feels like he can breathe again. honestly, he feels like he can breathe for the first time in a long time. his secret is out, and the ground hasn't crumbled away beneath his feet. kaveh is a kind, trustworthy friend; tighnari had nothing to worry about to begin with.
they continue on, kaveh wrapping, unwinding, wrapping again, until at last it feels both snug and comfortable. tighnari's eyes flicker toward the mirror without thought, so it is a good thing that kaveh placed his jacket over it. not looking down is a truly difficult task, but he keeps his eyes up, keeps them fixed on kaveh's face until at last he's finished, and tighnari can lower his arms again. ]
I -
[ he starts, but kaveh is soon tugging his shirt off, placing it in tighnari's hands, and he's quite clearly shocked. ]
[ Kaveh's smile is gentle when Tighnari lowers his arms. The other seems a little more at ease now than he did before— at least until the shock crosses his face, the blonde finding himself chuckling at something that reads like a morality-based panic. ]
My jacket is over the mirror, remember? I'll put it back on once we've cut your hair, so you don't have to worry about me.
[ He's halfway through reaching for the scissors when he pauses, a slight frown on his face. While he has no issue with being topless around Tighnari, what if the panic comes not from morality, but from something more dysphoric? What if it's uncomfortable for the other to be faced with a more obviously-masculine chest, right when he's still trying to come to terms with being open about who he is? ]
...It's not, uh, upsetting to you, is it? I can put it back on if you need that.
[ This is new territory for him, after all, but the last thing he wants is for Tighnari to be upset by anything he might do. ]
[ tighnari looks confused, for a moment, before he puts it all together. ah. kaveh is concerned for his state of mind, how he might feel seeing kaveh without a shirt. he cannot lie, tighnari absolutely feels envious, looking at him - he has everything that tighnari wants, and effortlessly.. but he wouldn't begrudge his friend anything. kaveh has been nothing but supportive, especially tonight.
[ The blonde is quick to shake his head, the smile on his face relieved— that truly is the last thing he would want, to cause further upset when he's just trying to help. Tighnari needs for him to be an ally, a confidant, and Kaveh will do anything to make sure that nothing he says or does can possibly get in the way of that.
...Mm. He should see if he can find literature on the subject when he goes to the House of Daena next.
For now, though, long fingers reach out to cup Tighnari's chin, a gentle tug to pull that gaze back to his face, so that the other man can see him shake his head again. ]
You don't have to thank me for this.
[ If anything, there's a small part of him that feels guilty. If only he'd been able to catch it sooner— ]
Tell me how you want your hair. [ A pause, and then, dramatically: ] And don't just say "short". Being a man does not excuse you from having a fashion sense!
[ when those gentle fingers take his chin, tighnari lifts his eyes again, and they're wide and watery and unsure, but soon the edges begin to soften.
of course tighnari needs to thank him for this - for not only accepting him, but encouraging him, helping him shape himself into the person he wants the be. needs to be. the person that he is. but he won't argue it further. ]
Oh, um..
[ he.. hadn't really thought much past simply cutting it all off, and being rid of it. again, tighnari glances toward the mirror, but it's still obscured. ]
.. what do you think? I trust your judgment. I don't want it any longer than my shoulders.
[ Kaveh's lips purse, a thoughtful expression on his face as he looks down at the other— and he's certainly glad that he kept the mirror covered, what with the way he sees those eyes slide over towards it.
He may be good with art, but he's no stylist, and he doesn't want to do something too complicated lest he make a mess of it— But Tighnari trusts his judgment. So the blonde takes a deep breath, considering in silence for a moment the shape of the other's face, the way the soft fur of his ears blends into the dark strands, the gradient of shade from the top of his scalp to the ends, closer in color to the highlights in his tail...
Kaveh nods, fingers shifting to push Tighnari's hair back, gathering and twisting it in a few different styles, until eventually a smile finds his lips. ]
I think... I've got an idea. [ This time, when Kaveh reaches for the scissors, he's successful, and it's with a warm smile that he turns back to Tighnari. ] Stay facing me, okay?
[ Ideally, he'd use a mirror for this, but the inconvenience is minor compared to what his friend might otherwise feel. He'll work without for now. ]
[ covering the mirror was indeed the right call, for tighnari can't help but want to peer into it again and again. it's not healthy, how obsessive he feels about it, how he feels the need to stare at himself in some sick cycle of self-disgust and hatred, abhorred by his own body. kaveh is a sharp man.
he's quiet while kaveh watches him, surveying what will soon be his work, saying nothing when he grabs handfuls of hair to test different styles, until at last he's smiling. he must have stumbled upon something he liked. tighnari takes a deep breath, and exhales slowly; gods, he's more than ready. ]
Okay.
[ he nods, straightening up and squaring his shoulders. ]
Okay, [ Kaveh repeats, and he takes a little breath, squaring his shoulders, mentally preparing himself for what he's about to do. Worst case scenario, he can take Tighnari to a proper stylist to have it fixed, made proper, once he's more comfortable with the way he presents outwardly.
But he's an artist, and despite his nerves, his hands are steady, making careful cuts in all the right places, circling Tighnari to make sure he has the viewpoints that he needs without the mirror to help him; it takes him much longer than it might a professional, and when it's done it's not perfect, but it's certainly much better than Kaveh allowed himself to expect, and by the time it's done, he's smiling. ]
Good, [ he murmurs, and then he reaches out, straightening the shirt that hangs on Tighnari's shoulders, adjusting it until the difference in size between the two of them is less obvious. Only then does he reach for his own jacket, pulling it off the mirror and revealing their reflection to his friend—
And he finds himself holding his breath, because Tighnari looks so good in Kaveh's mind; he just hopes the other man thinks as much too. ]
[ tighnari is silent while kaveh works, stoic and still, careful not to move or tilt his head too much so his friend can work without interruption. he knows full well that kaveh is no proper stylist, but he has the eyes and hands of an artist, which tighnari trusts will be more than enough. he doesn't want to leave this room again until he looks different.
slowly but surely the hair falls away, tumbling in dark, glossy locks down tighnari's shoulders and back, gathering at his feet with each snip of the scissors. his heart pounds.
once finished, kaveh is smiling in a way that eases tighnari's nerves, adjusting the shirt on him, and finally, finally uncovering the mirror, revealing tighnari to himself, and - oh. oh. for a moment, he can only stare at his reflection, stepping a little nearer to examine himself - his flattened chest, his hair, a short, soft little bob around his jaw. not too masculine, but not too feminine, either. it's.. it's.. ]
.. perfect ..
[ tears gather in tighnari's eyes, stinging and warm, as he brushes his padded fingertips along the sharp edges of his new hair. ]
[ Kaveh hovers— not too far but not too close— watching carefully the shape of Tighnari's expressions, needing to know that he's okay even as the tears well in his eyes. His own expression is remarkably stoic, as much as he can make it— as much as he feels that his friend looks amazing, he knows Tighnari needs to feel it, and he doesn't want to celebrate prematurely—
Still, he breathes a sigh of relief, the smile melting onto his lips, and he reaches to put a gentle hand on the other's shoulder. ]
I'm glad you like it. You look... you look amazing, `nari.
[ And the floor is a mess of silken locks that Kaveh will need to clean up, but that's something for later. There are more important things, much more important, like... ]
Now we have to take you out shopping and buy shirts more like this one. And maybe something that will make binding your chest easier so you don't have to have someone help each time. Like... like a modified corset, or something. [ Kaveh pauses with a chuckle. ] ...Sorry. I'm getting ahead of myself.
[ surely kaveh cannot know how his support affects tighnari, how wonderful it is, how good it feels to be.. validated. to feel as if his struggles are real, as if he's understood, and seen for who he is.
shopping, modified corsets, that all sounded wonderful, but right now - ]
Kaveh..
[ overcome, his chest tight with emotion, tighnari turns away from the mirror at last and presses himself into kaveh's arms, burying his face in kaveh's collar as hot tears stream down his ruddy cheeks. joyful tears. tears like infection bursting from an old festering wound that has at last been lanced. tighnari has swallowed it all for so long now that he hardly knows what to do with this newfound freedom. his heart is pouring out, his trust in kaveh so true and complete, his emotions a furious blaze of color and sound.
tighnari's voice is a soft croak, between a laugh and a sob. ]
[ He's surprised, for a just a moment, by the ferocity of the hug launched into his chest. But Kaveh laughs in the next moment, gentle and kind, wrapping his arms tight around the other's body and pulling him in close, pressing a soft kiss into his newly-short hair. ]
There's no need to thank me, [ he whispers, blinking back the tears that are so quick to spring to his own eyes. ] You only deserve the best things, Nari; this is just... this is what's right.
[ He pulls back just enough that he can peer down at the other, not wanting to pull far back but needing to look into his eyes. His fingers lift to cup his cheeks, and he smiles. ]
I'm so sorry you've had to hide yourself for this long.
[ oh there's plenty of need to thank him, tighnari thinks. he's grateful to kaveh not only for helping him with his hair and bandages, but also simply for.. accepting him. supporting him. being here where others might mock him cruelly. kaveh doesn't realize just how important that is, how vital it is for tighnari to hear, right now, that he is loved and accepted.
kaveh looks into his eyes, and tighnari nods, sniffles, and breaks into a tearful smile. ]
So am I. But no longer.
[ he shakes his head. ]
I don't care what anyone else thinks. I am who I am.
[ Kaveh wishes he could say that relief is the only thing he feels in response to Tighnari's declaration. After all, in his mind, there's nothing more beautiful than someone being unafraid to be the person they truly are. But he knows that the world doesn't always see it the same way, that the beauty he sees in his friend may be judged or mistrusted by those who have no business doing so.
...Which means he just has to protect Tighnari well enough that such things don't reach him. ]
No longer. [ It's said with a soft nod of his head; Kaveh releases Tighnari's cheeks and takes a step back so he can look down at him, admiring his new look. ] You're perfect as you are.
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Perhaps, he realizes with a dull pang, it's as much of a mask as the one he himself wears. And he hates more than anything that he's never seen it before. ]
Of course. [ His hands lift, fingers smoothing along the lower lashes of those forest-colored eyes to brush away the tears before they can fall, hating too with all his heart the fear shining behind the irises as the other looks up at him. And what he wants to tell her is that there's nothing she could ever say to make him turn from her— but he knows that for him, that wouldn't be enough, that what she needs is the proof.
So he makes no such promises; instead, he nods, one hand lowering to take one of her fisted ones into its hold, his eyes soft as they meet hers. ]
I'm listening. [ It's a whisper, something said with the softest of smiles to try and encourage the words forth. He'll be here no matter what, no matter how awful or terrible a thing needs to be told. ]
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You asked what I need you to do, and I..
[ tighnari's eyes are watery and stinging, and he has to summon all of his courage to lift them to kaveh's face, to look at him clearly. ]
I want you to.. to cut my hair for me. Short. And -
[ another breath, his heart pounding hard against his ribs. why is it so hard to say the words? forcing them out feels excruciating, so much of his life depends on this, right here, how this conversation goes. everything is riding on kaveh's reaction. tighnari is placing his bleeding heart into kaveh's hands, with perfect trust. ]
And to help me.. h-help me bind - my.. my chest -
[ tighnari's voice begins to crack at last, his vision blurring, and he breathes a low, frustrated sound like a strangled sob. ]
To help me not be - not be this anymore -
[ the tears fall, hot and plentiful, rolling unbidden down his cheeks. ]
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Oh.
Oh, this is big. Tighnari—
This is huge, isn't it?
But Tighnari, she— he, Kaveh reminds himself sternly, and promises in the very same thought to never need a reminder again— he needs it not to be this big thing. Right? What he needs right now is normality. In a world where this kind of admission is going to cause people to look at him differently to how they did before, to treat it as a curious or strange fact when it's frankly none of their business, Tighnari needs someone on his side who sees him for who he is, who sees it as a given, who brings normality to a world that is very much not.
(Or so Kaveh thinks, anyway. He's never really dealt with anything like this before.)
He takes a quiet breath, offers a gentle, understanding smile. ]
Okay, [ he says. For a moment he thinks about stopping everything and hugging the breath out of the other, but somehow he thinks it might be better to start with taking care of the things that are making his friend feel so out of sorts. Surely, he thinks, a hug will feel nicer for Tighnari if he can feel the flat of his chest pressed against Kaveh's, if the blonde's fingers can caress comfortingly through boyishly short strands of hair. And so instead of pulling him into a hug, Kaveh moves to grab the scissors, the roll of bandages from where they're lying on the bed. ]
Take your shirt off, okay? And— [ Kaveh pauses, considering the mirror for a moment or two.
If it were him, he doesn't think he'd be able to pull his eyes away even if he wanted to. And so, wordlessly, he pulls off the lightweight red overcoat he's wearing— leaving him clad in a loose white shirt and grey slacks— and drapes it over the mirror, adjusting it so that Tighnari can't look at himself even if he wants to. ]
Okay, that's better. Shirt off, Tighnari, and keep your eyes on me, okay. No looking down at yourself until I'm done.
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relief floods tighnari's body from crown to toes, and his rapid breathing shudders, both hands lifting to his face. he needs a moment, a moment to come to terms with kaveh's kindness and willingness to help, with the fact that his world is not going to come crashing down around his ears, as he had half-expected it would. kaveh simply accepts what he is told, and tighnari feels a little guilty for having doubted him at all, when kaveh has been nothing but supportive and sweet from the moment they met.
soon he nods. ]
Okay. Okay..
[ the mirror is covered, which is for the best, he thinks, considering how often his gaze continues to flicker back toward it. his ears are still pinned back, his tail between his legs, but the hard set of his shoulders is beginning to relax as he scrubs the tears from his face, and sniffs.
and then he sets to work, snagging the hem of his undershirt and tugging it over his head. he wears nothing beneath it but his own skin, yet there's nothing to be anxious about, he thinks. he'd bared his entire heart to kaveh, this is nothing, in the face of what he has already exposed. kaveh makes him feel safe, tighnari fields no issue with him seeing his bare breasts. the shirt is discarded to the floor, and tighnari lifts his long, silky hair in one hand, then holds both arms up. ]
I'm.. I'm ready.
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Hold this here for me until I wrap it around a couple times, just so it doesn't unwind.
[ Then, hesitant, not wanting to hurt his friend, Kaveh starts to wind the bandages around his chest.
The first attempt is abandoned just three circles into it as he realizes that, in trying to avoid pulling too tight, he's done nothing to bind the other's breasts back at all, and rather has essentially just decorated them with bandages. He huffs out a small sigh, murmurs an apology and unwinds the work, eyes finding Tighnari's face as he re-anchors the end against his breast, waits for the other to take it. ]
I don't want to hurt you, but I need to pull this tight for it to work. So you're gonna have to tell me if it's too much, okay? You still need to be able to breathe.
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tighnari nods, and does as bid, holding the bandage in place while kaveh makes his first attempt. it feels too loose, but tighnari keeps his eyes up as he had promised he would, his gaze fixed on kaveh's face.
but soon enough kaveh is unraveling the bandages again, trying again. ]
I'll be all right.
[ he says, his voice still a little tremulous, still a little thick with tears, but stronger than before. he holds the bandage against his breast again, and exhales a slow breath. ]
If it's too much, I'll tell you.
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At some point during the second wrap, it's too tight, and he has to stop and backtrack a little, allowing Tighnari more freedom to breathe before he continues on. It's during the third attempt that he finds himself feeling more courageous, confident enough in the motions to complete the wrap without pause. And when he's done, he finds himself standing in silence for a moment to consider the work.
Not bad, he thinks, but if Tighnari puts that undershirt he was wearing back on, it will practically undo the effort all on its own. ]
We're gonna need to go shopping— [ he says, an absent-minded murmur as he reaches to his own shirt, pulling it up and over his head and handing it to the other. ] —But until then, put this on.
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they continue on, kaveh wrapping, unwinding, wrapping again, until at last it feels both snug and comfortable. tighnari's eyes flicker toward the mirror without thought, so it is a good thing that kaveh placed his jacket over it. not looking down is a truly difficult task, but he keeps his eyes up, keeps them fixed on kaveh's face until at last he's finished, and tighnari can lower his arms again. ]
I -
[ he starts, but kaveh is soon tugging his shirt off, placing it in tighnari's hands, and he's quite clearly shocked. ]
But, you - what about you?
[ he can't just go around topless!! ]
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My jacket is over the mirror, remember? I'll put it back on once we've cut your hair, so you don't have to worry about me.
[ He's halfway through reaching for the scissors when he pauses, a slight frown on his face. While he has no issue with being topless around Tighnari, what if the panic comes not from morality, but from something more dysphoric? What if it's uncomfortable for the other to be faced with a more obviously-masculine chest, right when he's still trying to come to terms with being open about who he is? ]
...It's not, uh, upsetting to you, is it? I can put it back on if you need that.
[ This is new territory for him, after all, but the last thing he wants is for Tighnari to be upset by anything he might do. ]
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[ tighnari looks confused, for a moment, before he puts it all together. ah. kaveh is concerned for his state of mind, how he might feel seeing kaveh without a shirt. he cannot lie, tighnari absolutely feels envious, looking at him - he has everything that tighnari wants, and effortlessly.. but he wouldn't begrudge his friend anything. kaveh has been nothing but supportive, especially tonight.
tighnari shakes his head. ]
No, don't worry about it. It's not upsetting me.
[ a beat, and tighnari drops his gaze a little. ]
.. thank you, Kaveh.
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...Mm. He should see if he can find literature on the subject when he goes to the House of Daena next.
For now, though, long fingers reach out to cup Tighnari's chin, a gentle tug to pull that gaze back to his face, so that the other man can see him shake his head again. ]
You don't have to thank me for this.
[ If anything, there's a small part of him that feels guilty. If only he'd been able to catch it sooner— ]
Tell me how you want your hair. [ A pause, and then, dramatically: ] And don't just say "short". Being a man does not excuse you from having a fashion sense!
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of course tighnari needs to thank him for this - for not only accepting him, but encouraging him, helping him shape himself into the person he wants the be. needs to be. the person that he is. but he won't argue it further. ]
Oh, um..
[ he.. hadn't really thought much past simply cutting it all off, and being rid of it. again, tighnari glances toward the mirror, but it's still obscured. ]
.. what do you think? I trust your judgment. I don't want it any longer than my shoulders.
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He may be good with art, but he's no stylist, and he doesn't want to do something too complicated lest he make a mess of it— But Tighnari trusts his judgment. So the blonde takes a deep breath, considering in silence for a moment the shape of the other's face, the way the soft fur of his ears blends into the dark strands, the gradient of shade from the top of his scalp to the ends, closer in color to the highlights in his tail...
Kaveh nods, fingers shifting to push Tighnari's hair back, gathering and twisting it in a few different styles, until eventually a smile finds his lips. ]
I think... I've got an idea. [ This time, when Kaveh reaches for the scissors, he's successful, and it's with a warm smile that he turns back to Tighnari. ] Stay facing me, okay?
[ Ideally, he'd use a mirror for this, but the inconvenience is minor compared to what his friend might otherwise feel. He'll work without for now. ]
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he's quiet while kaveh watches him, surveying what will soon be his work, saying nothing when he grabs handfuls of hair to test different styles, until at last he's smiling. he must have stumbled upon something he liked. tighnari takes a deep breath, and exhales slowly; gods, he's more than ready. ]
Okay.
[ he nods, straightening up and squaring his shoulders. ]
I'm ready.
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But he's an artist, and despite his nerves, his hands are steady, making careful cuts in all the right places, circling Tighnari to make sure he has the viewpoints that he needs without the mirror to help him; it takes him much longer than it might a professional, and when it's done it's not perfect, but it's certainly much better than Kaveh allowed himself to expect, and by the time it's done, he's smiling. ]
Good, [ he murmurs, and then he reaches out, straightening the shirt that hangs on Tighnari's shoulders, adjusting it until the difference in size between the two of them is less obvious. Only then does he reach for his own jacket, pulling it off the mirror and revealing their reflection to his friend—
And he finds himself holding his breath, because Tighnari looks so good in Kaveh's mind; he just hopes the other man thinks as much too. ]
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slowly but surely the hair falls away, tumbling in dark, glossy locks down tighnari's shoulders and back, gathering at his feet with each snip of the scissors. his heart pounds.
once finished, kaveh is smiling in a way that eases tighnari's nerves, adjusting the shirt on him, and finally, finally uncovering the mirror, revealing tighnari to himself, and - oh. oh. for a moment, he can only stare at his reflection, stepping a little nearer to examine himself - his flattened chest, his hair, a short, soft little bob around his jaw. not too masculine, but not too feminine, either. it's.. it's.. ]
.. perfect ..
[ tears gather in tighnari's eyes, stinging and warm, as he brushes his padded fingertips along the sharp edges of his new hair. ]
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Still, he breathes a sigh of relief, the smile melting onto his lips, and he reaches to put a gentle hand on the other's shoulder. ]
I'm glad you like it. You look... you look amazing, `nari.
[ And the floor is a mess of silken locks that Kaveh will need to clean up, but that's something for later. There are more important things, much more important, like... ]
Now we have to take you out shopping and buy shirts more like this one. And maybe something that will make binding your chest easier so you don't have to have someone help each time. Like... like a modified corset, or something. [ Kaveh pauses with a chuckle. ] ...Sorry. I'm getting ahead of myself.
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shopping, modified corsets, that all sounded wonderful, but right now - ]
Kaveh..
[ overcome, his chest tight with emotion, tighnari turns away from the mirror at last and presses himself into kaveh's arms, burying his face in kaveh's collar as hot tears stream down his ruddy cheeks. joyful tears. tears like infection bursting from an old festering wound that has at last been lanced. tighnari has swallowed it all for so long now that he hardly knows what to do with this newfound freedom. his heart is pouring out, his trust in kaveh so true and complete, his emotions a furious blaze of color and sound.
tighnari's voice is a soft croak, between a laugh and a sob. ]
Thank you..
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There's no need to thank me, [ he whispers, blinking back the tears that are so quick to spring to his own eyes. ] You only deserve the best things, Nari; this is just... this is what's right.
[ He pulls back just enough that he can peer down at the other, not wanting to pull far back but needing to look into his eyes. His fingers lift to cup his cheeks, and he smiles. ]
I'm so sorry you've had to hide yourself for this long.
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kaveh looks into his eyes, and tighnari nods, sniffles, and breaks into a tearful smile. ]
So am I. But no longer.
[ he shakes his head. ]
I don't care what anyone else thinks. I am who I am.
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...Which means he just has to protect Tighnari well enough that such things don't reach him. ]
No longer. [ It's said with a soft nod of his head; Kaveh releases Tighnari's cheeks and takes a step back so he can look down at him, admiring his new look. ] You're perfect as you are.