i'm swimming in a mirror;

[ tighnari plans most things in his life vary carefully, and his heat is no exception.
past years he has dealt with it alone, but past years he has also lived quite far from civilization, so the all-consuming desire to seek out a mate was easily quelled by the fact that there was simply no one suitable within a reasonable distance. it was maddeningly frustrating, but it worked. since moving to the city, however.. things have been more difficult. the first two years he'd managed to control himself, but as he ages his heats grow in strength and intensity, and the year previous he'd very nearly done something he knows he would have regretted - it started via a text, progressed to phone sex, and ended with tighnari at the foot of a stranger's door, so eager and hungry that he'd been prepared to throw himself at some nameless, faceless body he'd found on the internet in order to slake his impossible thirst. thankfully, once they'd answered the door, he'd gotten ahold of himself and declined, but it was a very narrow thing. casual sex simply isn't something that tighnari does. not with strangers.
which is exactly why he has a different plan, this year. he'd considered taking a vacation to somewhere distant again, to tough it out alone, but unfortunately that's simply not financially feasible at this juncture, so he'd had to give up on that idea. the next best thing, he'd thought, would be to simply.. find someone he trusts enough to spend his heat with, someone he knows well enough to admit his needs to, but not so well that it'd potentially ruin a long-standing relationship. collei was out of the question, she's always felt more like a sister to him. he'd considered cyno for awhile, but they've been so close for so long that tighnari couldn't bring himself to risk their relationship for something so fleeting. everyone else that he knows is a colleague, and that's entirely out of the question, he'd never be able to show his face in the akademiya again.
but aki.. aki fit the bill perfectly. he's certainly good looking. they don't work together, they're not as intimately close as he is with cyno, but close enough that tighnari trusts him, that he thinks that aki won't find it particularly weird or off-putting. this is a biological imperative, after all, it's not something that tighnari can control. even still, he'd been incredibly nervous to extend the offer.. having prepared for the worst, but finding himself instead surprised by the acceptance.
after that, all that was left was to take paid leave from work, and preparation. he'd spent two days cleaning his apartment and tending to his plants, as well as stocking up on plenty of snacks and sports drinks, fruits and granola bars and things that are easy to grab, that also provide good energy. he's premade his meals for the week and stocked them in the freezer, finished all of his laundry, and rearranged the living space, pushing the furniture toward the walls to build a comfortable nest of cushions and blankets in the middle of the room. finally, the night before he'd taken a long, luxurious bath to calm his nerves, and gone to sleep.
when he wakes, it's late into the night, moonlight streaming through the gauzy curtains pulled before the common room windows, and across the glass doors. he's hot all over, deeply uncomfortable, and so slick between the thighs that he's dampened his boxer briefs and sleeping shorts both. tighnari groans, rubbing both hands over his face. it's too early. aki isn't here yet, he's probably still asleep, but tighnari's body is positively aching all over, deep frustration setting into his bones. his scent is thick and cloying, sweet like honey and crisp like morning dew, and it permeates the space, making him dizzy. he thrusts a hand down the front of his shorts, rubbing his clit and fucking himself hard on his fingers, but it isn't enough, gods, it isn't enough. two unfulfilling orgasms later he's rolling onto his side and grabbing for his phone, typing out a hasty text, deleting it, typing it again. ]
Are you awake? Started early. Please.

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They'll just have to work some shower sex into the equation.
For now, he inhales a deep breath, mingling with the scent of Tighnari's skin and sweat, and disentangles himself at last. Slowly, he rises to his feet, pulling his sweatpants back over his slender hips. He's willing to cook shirtless, but pantsless is going too far. ]
I don't mind. It's been awhile since I could cook a meal for someone who might actually eat all of it.
[ Without picking out the green things...Power!!!! ]
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aki pulls away from him, leaving a cold, vacuous space behind, and tighnari immediately misses his warmth, his scent, but he chides himself after a moment. he's not some foolish schoolboy in love, he needs to rearrange his thoughts and set himself straight, so tighnari gives himself a mental shake and sits forward. ]
All right, I'll leave you to it, then. I'm going to take a quick shower, if you don't mind.
[ he trusts aki enough, is comfortable enough with him to allow him to free rein in his apartment while he's indisposed. tighnari arches into a luxurious stretch, tail lashing, before he finally sits forward, then climbs to his feet with a sigh. ]
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As Tighnari heads to the bathroom to take his shower, Aki moves to the kitchen, tracking down a frying pan and rice cooker, helping himself to the items Tighnari told him ahead of time would be stocked in the fridge. It's time for eggs and rice with some sliced fruit on the side! Hopefully Tighnari is hungry.
But then again, they have been, uh, working up quite the appetite...Aki's stomach is rumbling too. ]
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his shower doesn't take too long, though a bit longer than usual, considering he's caked with sweat and, um, other various fluids, so he's quite thorough, though it hardly matters when they're likely going to be dirtying each other up again soon.. alas.
at any rate, it's some thirty minutes later when tighnari wanders back out into the living area again, dressed in a loose henley tee and track shorts, over which he's bundled a mushroom-embroidered cardigan. his hair and tail are damp, but he feels quite refreshed, and the scent that greets him is quite tempting, but before he bothers aki in the kitchen, he first replaces the blanket they'd thoroughly soiled in the nest, and checks on his plants - all 4 billion of them.
at last he pads into the small kitchen, pulling up close to aki's side, his ears swiveled forward with interest. ]
Shower's free. What are you making?
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Still shirtless and disheveled, Aki offers Tighnari a smile as he enters the kitchen, before motioning to the table. There is, indeed, rice, eggs, and some fresh fruit on the side, with two cups of coffee. He has a rough idea of how Tighnari takes his coffee by now, but just in case, he has left sugar and cream on the side.
It's as close to his own usual routine as can be, given he's staying somewhere else right now. Sans the shower, but he'll get to that soon. He might not have been, uh, quite the mess Tighnari was, but he could still use one. He probably has some impressive bedhead. ]
A breakfast intended to restore calories and energy. We'll need it.
[ Since...you know!!! He's just being practical. ]
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ahem. tighnari pushes those thoughts aside and moves to sit at the small table, his stomach already growling. ]
It looks perfect. Thank you.
[ they absolutely will need the calories, tighnari notes, warmth flushing his long ears. he digs in without further comment, and it's absolutely delicious. ]
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And one he shouldn't read into too much. Clearing his throat, he takes a sip of the juice, before digging into his own plate. ]
You're giving me a quiet place to sleep. It's the least I can do.
[ Sex and snuggles with Tighnari are greater than waking up at 3 AM to shouting matches between his roommates... ]
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anyway, they continue their meal, chatting comfortably, tighnari adding his cream and sugar to his coffee before drinking it happily down. it doesn't take him long at all to pack away the eggs and rice, and he's soon sitting back in his chair with a sigh, his tail thumping against the seat, warm and content.
he's starting to feel the itch again, a little bit, like a tiny spark in his belly, but it's easy to control, easy to clamp down on. he'll be good for a few hours now, more than most likely, though as the days pass that timeline will grow thinner and thinner as his heat crests. for now, though, he'll take advantage of the fact that it's still within his means to stay in his right mind. ]
That was excellent. Mm.. maybe we should take the time to grab a nap, while we can.
[ they were up quite late.. ]
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This is for Tighnari, after all. He is doing something, even if it's far removed from his usual work.
Aki makes a soft sound of assent. ]
I think I'll grab a quick shower first, and then take you up on that. Feel free to start without me.
[ The way the idea draws him in, freshly showered and clean to snuggle up and take a nap with Tighnari, is unexpected. ]
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but it's.. nice, he thinks, enjoying a quiet morning, eating and chatting together. aki is a good person, a good friend for agreeing to this to begin with. tighnari wouldn't have blamed him had he declined. nevertheless, here they are, and it doesn't feel nearly as strange or awkward as tighnari would have expected. ]
Sounds like a good idea.
[ they're going to need so many showers..
anyway, tighnari busies himself by clearing up their plates and cups and rinsing them off in the sink, before he's meandering back to the living area, choosing a book, and settling down comfortably in the nest again, lying on his side, to read. ]
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He's only human, after all, and sex feels good when you're overworked and stressed, which is his state of being nearly all the time.
Soon enough he emerges from the shower, drying himself off and dressing in the clean change of clothes he brought, lose fitting and comfy, though it more than likely won't stay on too long. He may as well stay decent while he can. Tighnari has already seen all of him, but it still seems only proper to not walk around naked. ]
That doesn't look like a nap.
[ There's a softness to his voice as he approaches Tighnari in the nest and flops down unceremoniously next to him, exhaling. Strange, he hasn't had a smoke since he got here, but he doesn't really feel like he needs one. ]
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Look, I'm just relaxing a little bit first.
[ even if reading often wakes him up.. he gets so interested!! but he closes the book for now and sets it aside, before settling down into the covers, curling on his side toward aki. ]
Thank you, by the way. For agreeing to help.
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So he doesn't quite pull Tighnari into his arms or anything like that, but he tucks in close, their knees touching, Aki's arm tucked up beneath his head. (His arm is gonna be super dead later.) ]
Don't mention it. I'm glad I could help.
[ That's what friends do, isn't it? Even if this...might be considered going above and beyond the call of friendship. ]
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Mm. Well, still. I appreciate it.
[ tighnari's tail flicks against the blankets, thumping contentedly as he curls comfortably beneath the blankets, his eyelids drooping, then finally closing. it's been a busy night, and a busy morning.. it isn't long before his body begins feeling heavy, his mind settling. ]
Get some rest.
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[ He murmurs softly, his eyelids already feeling heavy and weighted. Most of the time, sleep is a difficult thing for him to slip into, much to his chagrin, considering how defined the rest of his schedule and routine is. But now...he finds it easy, sleep settling over his mind like a warm blanket, and soon enough he is drifting off himself.
He sleeps like the dead while he's out, deep and dreamless, but it likely won't be long until Tighnari needs him again... ]
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and again. and again.
they fall into a pattern, and each time is easier than the last, better, closer, more intimate, which tighnari isn't sure is a good thing, but.. well, it's certainly a nice feeling, isn't it? to be wanted. to be touched, and held, and loved. these days have felt like a whirlwind, a fever dream, one he's not sure he wants to wake from - normally tighnari's heats are terrible, almost painfully frustrating, but this.. it's been so much easier. so much nicer.
it's late, the dying embers of sunset slanting across the room, and tighnari is straddled across aki's lap, riding him hard, his back arched and his ears pressed back, his skin dewy with sweat. tighnari's breath comes hard and hot, his thighs squeezing aki's hips, his tail lashing behind him as he leans back, grasping aki's thighs with clawed hands. ]
Please - [ he cries, panting, his hips snapping downward, taking aki deeper, harder. ] Come in me, I want to feel you. It's - mmn - it's fine, I'm on the pill, please -
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How could he not, when he wants Aki this badly? They have built each other up like a finely tightened string, ready to snap, and they have fucked enough times now that Tighnari knows well how Aki feels when he's about to come. His breath his quick and rough, groans riding low in his throat as he nuzzles to those sensitive spots on Tighnari's neck - though he is still careful not to bite, to not interfere with his natural instincts unnecessarily. He grasps to Tighnari just as tightly as Tighnari grasps him, nails biting into the small of his back, hips rolling and snapping up again and again, until he's right on the edge.
He's been careful about it, though there's been some narrow misses. Now, Tighnari gives him full and unquestioning permission to come inside him just as he's hungered to, and so he pumps into him once, twice, finding Tighnari's mouth with his own, latching onto his bottom lip with his teeth as he comes.
Groaning sharp around Tighnari's lip in his mouth, Aki's hips jut up, hot, slick come filling Tighnari, filthy and wonderful as white-hot pleasure envelopes him, shudders wracking his body. He doesn't let up until every last drop is spent, come dripping from Tighnari into his lap. ]
Fuck...
[ He breathes into his partner's mouth. ]
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but right now, tighnari isn't thinking about that. he doesn't care. all he's thinking about is aki's cock buried deep in his body, all he's feeling is the sudden sinful burst of heat as he comes. ]
Gods -
[ tighnari whines, squirms, that rush of heat inside of him enough to make his stomach clench up tightly, but aki continues to fuck him through it all, snapping his hips upward to meet every one of tighnari's downward thrusts. he's close, he's so close, aki's spend trickling out of his body and down against his lap - tighnari hisses, slamming downward, grinding his clit against aki's belly until at last it hits him hard, like a punch to the gut. tighnari comes hard and trembling, his back arching and his tail bristling, a sharp cry in his throat, his delicate expression all twisted up with abject pleasure.
collapsing forward, tighnari folds into aki's embrace, into his kiss, parting his lips to lick into aki's mouth, humming and purring his pleasure, both hands clasping at his lover's jaw. ]
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As Tighnari kisses him, Aki exhales long and deep against his mouth, tongue grazing and tasting his partner's. ]
Mm...sure you're not sore yet?
[ They've been at this a lot today...even more than the day before, and the day before that. Aki doesn't question whether each of these encounters are necessary for Tighnari's wellbeing. He doesn't need to know the answer, when he's enjoying himself this much. When they both are.
He gathers Tighnari up in his arms, holding his close against him as the pleasure begins to ebb from them both. This, too, has gotten easier, craving contact in the afterglow. ]
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Just a little..
[ they've absolutely been fucking like rabbits these past few days, even moreso today as his heat crests, spiraling in its intensity, making him needier, greedier, unable to resist the appeal of aki's spend flooding into him. it pleases the deep, instinctive urge inside of him to be filled up so fully, to be mated, and bred. it's a risk, he knows - tighnari is absolutely on the pill, he saw to that before his heat began, but it's still dangerous, still risky.
but tighnari isn't worried about that right now. humming, purring, tighnari continues to kiss him, showering him with affection, sharp teeth nibbling at his lower lip. ]
Why, are you? Starting to regret agreeing to help me?
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[ At the end of the day, Aki is only a man - there's only so much he can deny the pleasure of sex. But even if that's all there was to it, he wouldn't be enjoying himself this week nearly as much as he is. He and Tighnari just seem well matched as partners. He realized it from the first, and he can no longer deny the chemistry they have, physically and emotionally.
What he does with that realization is another matter, but he isn't thinking about that right now either. How could he, when it feels so good to hold Tighnari in his arms like this, the both of them spent and sticky with sweat and sex? Few things have reminded him how alive and real he is before this week. ]
Just wanted to make sure you can keep up.
[ A soft tease on his voice - he's gotten far more comfortable with that this week as well. It takes a lot for his guard to come down, but in a situation as unique as this, it was inevitable, wasn't it?
His palms smooth gently over Tighnari's shoulders in apology of the welts he left their earlier. ]
That was good.
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this is a habit for tighnari, apparently..
but he'll think over these difficult thoughts later. he wants to enjoy himself for now, and embrace the freedom that comes along with satisfying his heat for once in his life. he's spent so many years denying it, tamping it down, but this week has taught him that perhaps it isn't so terrible, allowing himself to experience his baser impulses, rather than attempting to rise above them. and he thinks aki is enjoying himself too, he's certainly not yet had any problems in.. ahem, rising to the occasion, and their time together has been nice, not awkward or strained, from the moment aki stepped into his apartment and fucked him against the door. ]
Please. I'm not the one with the refractory period, here.
[ he says through a smirk, nudging his nose affectionately alongside aki's, tugging his lower lip between his teeth before he sits back a little, crossing his arms over aki's chest and resting his chin upon them, so he can look up into his face. ]
And yes, it was. You like me on top, hmm?
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Is that such a surprise?
[ Aki likes to take charge, but so does Tighnari. They're both excellent switches, which has done great things to keep things fresh and interesting while they've been together this week. Never a dull moment when neither of them can be sure which position they will end up taking when they come together. ]
I've been told I'm a pushover at heart.
[ Underneath it all, he's still too soft, for better or for worse. It's why he can't deny himself the feelings he's having, even though he should. Even though it could be risking everything to allow himself to indulge in this easy affection. And it is so easy, to touch and kiss Tighnari like this. He doesn't even have to think about what he's doing anymore. ]
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You absolutely are.
[ his mouth pulls into a half-smile, and he lifts one hand to smooth it through aki's loose hair, threading his fingers through it, his gaze fond. perhaps too fond. ]
But there's nothing wrong with that, you know.
[ it's still quite phenomenal, he thinks, that aki can retain that despite his past, despite his job - he's still soft, still warm, not unlike cyno, who suffers in much the same ways. he worries about them both so deeply, so fully that it feels like an ache in his chest. any day he could get word that either of them are injured. that either of them are dead. gone. slipped between his fingers like so much sand.
tighnari pushes that thought away, swallowing his anxiety, dragging the pad of his thumb along aki's cheek. ]
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Whether or not he'll need to reevaluate that is something that simply hasn't entered his mind yet, but there is a reason he can barely admit to himself that he might have feelings for Tighnari that extend beyond platonic, and have nothing to do with this week of incredible sex.
(Though the week of incredible sex certainly hasn't hurt.)
Leaning his head into Tighnari's touch, Aki's eyes flutter shut, a long exhale escaping him. His touch is wonderful, tender. It offers Aki a gentleness he scarcely knows. ]
You don't think so?
[ There's something soft and vulnerable in his voice. He has come to care about Tighnari's thoughts and opinions a lot, and though it surprises him too, this is something that Aki would like to hear his thoughts on. Is it...alright to feel as much as he does, in the line of work he's in? ]
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